Question:
Who pays at a birthday dinner: the guests or the host?
deborah
2016-06-10 14:35:13 UTC
My friend is hosting a birthday party this weekend at a local restaurant. She sent an invite (via email) saying the time and date and location, without giving much detail. I've never been invited to a birthday dinner so who pays for my meal? Me or the host?

BTW, I would expect the host to pay just because she is hosting the party (it isn't surprise party or anything). And if the guests do pay, how much money should I bring?
Ten answers:
peggy
2016-06-17 08:53:02 UTC
it really depends on the invite.... we have a group of about 30 who get together for birthday's. we all pay for our own but someone always picks up the birthday persons tab and it's usually the next birthday person in line.
celticwarrior_amazonwoman
2016-06-13 19:26:38 UTC
Hosting a party means you organize and foot the bill. If you invite people and expect input /contributions then you have to call it a potluck. Not being clear is totally inappropriate leaving people wondering and putting guests in an awkward position.

By the same token as a gracious guest to someone's house party, it's never inappropriate to bring a bottle of wine or flowers or whatever depending on the nature or ambience or whatever is suitable.

The good old standby solution is to pick up the phone and ask. I don't know why people shun this age old past time of communication. If someone is not clear about something, what is the harm in asking? Let's put it this way, if the host is upset or uncomfortable you asking them, then they shouldn't have put you in the awkward position in the first place. They should have been clear. So you know for next time if tables are turned that you know if you're hosting something, you can be clear so you don't put guests in the same position you are being put in.

Meanwhile back at the ranch- you weren't clear either- is Jane or John Host the birthday girl or boy? Or they are throwing a party in someone else's honor?

In the adult world, if I am hosting a birthday party to honor a friend of mine and I invite people to share that party, I would be clear that everyone chips in at a restaurant. Any party I've been to that's been hosted at a restaurant I've never not contributed my share. But I've never also had any confusion with the instructions and if anyone ever did invite me for somethikng and I wasn't clear, I just always ask for clarification, becuase that's just me, I like to communicate with people :) It's really easy. Give it a shot.

And in the mean time, bring enough money yo cover your share of the dinner. Unless it's Hugh Hefner throwing a party and you can expect the whole gig is covered, you should be respectful and bring along enough cash for your share of food and drinks and tip.
Chelsea
2016-06-10 14:46:52 UTC
Normally the guests pay. There are few times when the host pays but don't expect anyone to pick up your check. Bring $20-$40 if you plan on having some drinks
Skyler
2016-06-15 19:27:47 UTC
The host. They invited you to come to their birthday dinner. Guests should probably bring gifts for the birthday boy/gal though.
Happiest in the kitchen.
2016-06-12 09:33:27 UTC
I would expect the host to pay as well, but take money just incase. Look at the menu to the place you are going. Take enough to cover the most expensive meal you would consider eating plus at Least 20% tip. If you are in a big group, tip more big groups are a lot of work.
Colton
2016-06-13 11:50:34 UTC
I always pay when I throw a party or invite everyone out to dinner. My brother-in-law always has his guests pay. It all depends on what kind of person you are.
denise
2016-06-27 14:38:57 UTC
the guests should club together and pay for the meal of the person who's birthday it is.
Winter
2016-07-13 18:13:27 UTC
Oh my goodness lol, definitely find out the prices of the restaurant and bring enough to pay for yourself.
2016-06-10 14:49:12 UTC
Hots sent out the invitations, did it mention about bring your cash?
Willie
2016-06-27 15:25:45 UTC
I'll pay.


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